Educational Autobiography

Hollow Moment to Realization

    As we trudged through the stiff brush, the soldiers of 3rd Platoon were ready to complete our mission. Moving through the wide open field, very few noises beyond the crunching of the dried Oklahoma grass, and the brief rubbing of pants that were three sizes too big could be heard. Beyond those, the only audible sounds were brief whispers between a squad leader, Private Piercy, and a team leader, Private Lusignan as they monitored our direction.  After practicing for a grueling nine weeks, this was our initial expedition on our own; our first glimpse at what combat could be like. My stomach filled with anxiety and adrenaline; I was ready to prove what I was capable of.

As we proceeded on our mission, I thought about tactical movements we could encounter such as Battle Drill 1A and hand signals that I would need to remember when the occasion occurred. I was ready. After managing to reach some sense of preparedness, all I could do was smile; I was here, in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma, leading my comrades through our first big adventure. All too quickly, a scream screeched back from the front of my squad interrupting my silenced mind.

All I could hear was, “CONTACT, CONTACT, CONTACT!”

The impressively loud screams were followed by deafening M-16 rounds crackling as they were fired.

I yelled in response, “GET DOWN, GET DOWN, SQUAD LEADERS REPORT!”

As the squad leaders approached me with panicked looks, my mind was sprinting to make a call to assault the enemy, but I could not come up with any tactics. It was as if my mind was a blank canvas. In fact, it was as if every inch of my body was numb and the surrounding area had been drowned out. The previously painstakingly loud squad assault weapons were not even audible. It had become all-too-real to me that my closest battle-buddies: Private Metzkow, Private Meiszner, and Private Piller were dependent on my call. The fate of this pinnacle exercise was in the palm of my hands. This experience would be one they would remember for the rest of their military careers and I was in control of it.

In my mind, all I thought was, “This was not where our ambush was supposed to happen, why didn’t it follow the plan? What am I going to do now?”

During my moment of panic, I found the capacity to relax myself and recall the mission’s brief. The night prior to our mission, our Drill Sergeant - DS Delacruz - prepared a sand box display of the terrain, ambush sites, and mission overview as a learning technique. Each sector was labeled in white ribbon with small, prepared pictures of our ambush sites. Beside them laid miniature imitations of terrain made with leaves and brush from the surrounding area.  Private Peoples (the Platoon Guide) and I mapped our mission’s plan and developed a system of tactics to perform and successfully complete our mission. I knew our plan precisely.

I scrambled in the prone position, lying in the tense grass, to make the best decision for my group. I cleared my mind, and instinctively hollered above the chaotic noise to my squad leaders, “Battle Drill 1A - Left side bound followed by right side. Then left side flank and right side assault through.” The words were barely out of my mouth when suddenly all of the chaos morphed into exactly what I had said - a plan.

Mission successful.

My 30 seconds of indecisiveness felt like a century; each second filled with pounds of emotion and solitude. Despite the defeated feeling I had just experienced, I managed to recover and provide leadership for my group.  Little did I know, but Patrol Mission #1 in Ft. Sill, Oklahoma would be the first time I was a genuine leader; the first time I would ever lead a group of people successfully through a potentially life-threatening situation.

Of course, this was not the last time I led peers through missions during my time at Basic Training or in my daily life. As I continue to grow as an individual and a leader, I will continue to execute my decisions completely, as I did in Mission #1. Now, I understand that effective leadership requires remaining rooted in one’s decisions and being accommodative in response to changing circumstances. However, a solid, confident, well-rounded leader can get their team through those changes - and that’s what I aspire to become.